Tag: Tell Me Everything You Don’t Remember

How many Koreans does it take to investigate a wound?

Pedagogies of Woundedness by James Kyung-Jin Lee

James Kyung-Jin Lee has a book called Pedagogies of Woundedness: Illness, Memoir, and the Ends of the Model Minority. Published in January 2022 by Temple University Press, Lee examines the question, “What happens when illness betrays Asian American fantasies of indefinite progress?” discussing the model minority myth and its erasure as reflected in “illness memoirs.” Which, as he points out, is a relatively new category within Asian American literature. Pedagogies of Woundedness is an academic narrative and one that highlights a new perspective on how Asian American illness memoirs have come to join the larger genre of Asian American literature. Why didn’t they exist previously? And what does it mean when “the model minority” shows its vulnerability?

Lee establishes the model minority myth early on, opening on Julie Yip-Williams’ 2019 memoir, The Unwinding of the Miracle, involving her terminal cancer diagnosis. “All this seems so incredible and new,” he says, “as if Asian Americans have started dying only recently, in large part because they’ve long been expected to be harbingers of nothing less than the good American life, showing the rest of the United States how it ought to be done” (p. 4). On the same day in 2019, too, Graywolf published Esmé Weijun Wang’s The Collected Schizophrenias. Of this fact, Lee states, “It was as if, in an instant, scales fell from the eyes of U.S. publishers and readers alike: if as a collective, Americans demanded of their Asian American colleagues lives of exceptional mobility and affirmation of the U.S. cultural project, then perhaps…Asian America could also provide a pedagogy to optimize this narrative…Asian Americans can you teach us how to die well?”

LOL.

In his survey of Asian American illness memoirs, Lee writes, “In 2017, Christine Hyung-Oak Lee published her memoir Tell Me Everything You Don’t Remember: The Stroke That Changed My Life with Ecco, the first time in U.S. history that a major trade press published a work of nonfiction by an Asian American whose narrative was primarily occupied by illness” (p. 96).

When my 2014 BuzzFeed essay about my stroke went viral, I was barely cognizant that Asian Americans hadn’t yet pierced the American psyche with regard to illness and to Lee’s point, fallibility. I had simply written about something that happened to me and my path navigating a damaged brain. I was stunned by its reception. Editors wanted to publish such a narrative; my schedule was filled with editor and agent calls for three straight weeks. It was assumed that America was ready, based on the data; I don’t think any of us had at the top of our minds that Asian American illness memoirs were not yet a Thing. I engaged my dream agent (and made some agent and editor friends along the way), and ended up with a book deal. I temporarily ditched my novel-in-progress and wrote a memoir called Tell Me Everything You Don’t Remember based on the essay. I wrote furiously for a year.

Dear Reader: at a point in writing my memoir, I wondered whether to even center my Asian American identity in the narrative. Yes. This was a conscious decision I had to make. My editors thankfully tacitly understood who I was and how I was raised and my cultural context were key components to how I experienced brain damage. Sadly, I felt like I was taking a risk by doing this so explicitly; even though I had no idea I was the first, the only illness memoirs of which I was aware were written by white writers who didn’t have to make explicit their cultural context. Sadly, I was indeed taking a risk.

Yes, in the book reviews, there were folks who asked why I included my Asian American upbringing at all within my illness memoir.

My memoir was published in February 2017, in the wake of Trump’s inauguration, and I blamed many publishing headwinds on that guy (I still do). But there was, I now realize, another headwind: being the first. This was the beginning of a new neighborhood. And there were not yet any neighbors.

Speaking of neighbors: there can be a partnership between scholars and creative writers, one that writers often ignore. Scholarly writing is where I learn most about my own work and the ways in which readers interpret the messages I have sent, whether unconsciously or consciously. And to learn whether my writing has broken new ground as the scholar themself forges new territory.

Some of my most satisfying writing was in the academic term papers I wrote during my MFA–I still have fond memories of writing my term paper on golem imagery in Frankenstein and Great Expectations (Estella is a golem!). Literary writers who attended higher education institutions have if they’ve taken any non-STEM courses at all, likely produced academic writing. And literary writers who attended secondary education institutions most likely wrote academic essays. In this way, many of us have dipped our toes in scholarly work. And it is where, at least in my case, my writing began.

In an undergrad Asian American Studies class, my professor (who is part of the Asian American literary canon and who I won’t name because I am about to criticize him) said, “You should write it. Don’t be a scholar and just study it.” He made clear his opinion that creative writing was superior to scholarship. At the time, what he said was inspiring–I mean, I was nineteen years old and supposed to be premed and didn’t want to go to med school and my secret dream was to become an author, so please give me a break. But I didn’t realize it was at the sacrifice of scholarship. And that this kind of hierarchical perspective isn’t healthy whatsoever, because a literary writer needs readers. And the most thoughtful readers are often scholars.

I’ve never said no to a teacher who teaches my book in class and invites me as a guest speaker. In fact, one of my very favorite things to do as a writer is to zoom into a class. It is an honor to meet students whose academic insights into my writing often surpass those of book reviewers, especially those who question why I bring up being Asian American at all in a…(wait for it) memoir. I’m delighted when I read blog posts by students, those in Professor Lee’s classes included, who’ve read my book. It is good medicine, especially when I need correction or when in the long slog of writing my next book I question whether or not I should continue to write at all.

Scholars are our good neighbors for myriad reasons. And James Kyung-Jin Lee’s Pedagogies of Woundedness is an excellent partner to the burgeoning field of Asian American illness memoirs. May it be an influence as well.

Tote Bags

I found a stash of tote bags for TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU DON’T REMEMBER. I thought I’d given all of them away by now!

What to do, what to do?
GIVE. THEM. AWAY!!!!

So.

  1. Tweet or Facebook or instagram or email me a picture of yourself with your copy of TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU DON’T REMEMBER, You can tag me (@xtinehlee on twitter and @xtinehlee1 on instagram)
  2. Then email me your mailing address to: xtinehlee AT gmail DOT com (so that I can get the tote bag to you).
  3. The first 30 people to do the above will receive a free tote bag.*

Thank you for reading. I’m blown away by your response, and love hearing from readers. And the best thing about all this are all the new connections in my life**–so I’m looking forward to building more.

*I haven’t counted, but I’m pretty sure I have more than 30 bags, so I may be able to go over this number.
**Also, I love seeing pictures of readers + TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU DON’T REMEMBER out in the world. 😉

(how to buy) Personalized/Signed Copies of TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU DON’T REMEMBER

I’ve been getting a number of requests for signed and/or personalized, signed copies of TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU DON’T REMEMBER. I’m not going on book tour, but WANT to fulfill your wishes (without having to live at UPS or FedEx or the US Postal Service office).

So–here’s the deal: DIESEL, A Bookstore in Oakland will send out signed copies to you, when you purchase from their site. This is the direct link to Tell Me Everything You Don’t Remember on their website.

In the “notes” section of your order as you check out, PLEASE INDICATE TO WHOM YOU WOULD LIKE THE BOOK SIGNED (otherwise you’ll get a generic signature-only copy), and they will work with me to make that happen and ship it out to you!

Hopefully, this makes it easier for you and for me, and everyone is happy, and a local bookstore wins! They’re the only place from which you can buy a signed copy.

Guys, Scott Simon of NPR Interviewed Me

I had the privilege of being interviewed by Scott Simon at NPR Headquarters in D.C. last week. Scott Simon was an incredibly handsome and poised gentleman. NPR Headquarters was amazing–there is a huge news board in the lobby and a newsroom in the building’s atrium and so many wonderful recording rooms. Also, it felt like one of the safest places in America, at least psychically speaking. So I felt comfortable and welcome and ready to share my stroke recovery experience, living with a 15 minute short term memory, and the writing of Tell Me Everything You Don’t Remember

My interview aired on NPR’s Weekend Edition Saturday this past weekend. You can listen to it here. Also, there is a written transcription of some of the interview.

Mailing List

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I am starting a mailing list in anticipation of the release of my memoir TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU DON’T REMEMBER (and of course, after that–my novel, THE GOLEM OF SEOUL).

I welcome you to sign up for monthly-ish updates from me.

The updates will have some personal content as it pertains to writing. I’ll also be sharing my writing process, my publishing experience, favorites, travel, etc. A little like this blog, but also different.

And hopefully more exclusive–for instance, when my book trailer is released, my mailing list readers will be the first to see it!

Additionally, I plan on holding giveaways to members of the mailing list–for example, signed books…and possibly tote bags or other schwag I might dream up.

Please sign up below. And thank you for becoming a part of my inner circle of readers.

Subscribe to my mailing list

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Book Gestation

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It takes a number of steps and people and coordination to bring a memoir into the world. (It also takes work).

The essay that sparked this whole process. Editors and agents. A book proposal to write. A book deal. Then, write write write write wriiiite.

After twelve months of writing…GOOOOOOAAAALL:  a completed and accepted final draft of TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU DON’T REMEMBER. I’ve never written at such a quick pace.

My novel, on the other hand, took twelve YEARS to write and I’m still not done rewriting it. And it’s due soon, to my editors! 

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So we’re now in the copyedits stage. Many eyes have scanned the pages. An intrepid and sharp-eyed copyeditor combed through my manuscript for necessary changes over the past month, and now it is in my hands again. My penchant for unnecessary commas is clear to me as I accept changes proofread the proofreader. (Shazam! I caught a couple of things he/she missed!). A legal team has read the manuscript to ensure all things are square on the litigious front.

Blurbs have been courted. Bound manuscript copies have been sent out for said blurbs.

I have cover art–it’s beautiful. I can’t wait to show it to you.

The advance reader copies (ARCs) will be out within a couple of months and the publishing sales team readied.

My editors asked that I make a short video for the sales team–I could have shot something simple with my iPhone (what’s the selfie version of an iPhone video?), but I’d already been pondering a book trailer for a few weeks . A good book trailer can be amazing, a bad one, ineffective (and a major expense).

The fact that a book trailer could achieve two needs at once got me off the fence.

So this week, we shot my book trailer.

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I get to have Oprah Lighting! Well. Sort of; I get to be lit up! I had to powder my face and everything.

The entire living room got lighting. Including my bookshelves, the backdrop to some of the book trailer.

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It’s hard to talk about my book and not make it sound cheezy. I’m astounded that people even want to hear about my story about having been sick and then getting better. But along the way, I learned lessons about wellness and resilience, and it was gratifying to write them down.

And I can’t wait until my book is out in the world–the official publication date is February 14, 2017.

 

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